I think a lot of people think of ‘home’ as a particular place. Maybe for some that’s true. For me, home is with the people I love and care about. As long as they’re there; that’s home.
|Shey and Lanah right after she gave birth|
This summer has taken almost all of my resources and drained them. I am just beginning to feel a resurgence of energy reserves slowly starting to build. I think the quiet of the Village (yes I said Village. This IS Maine and this is the second time in 8 years I have rented a cottage near the water in a Village. The last time being in Liberty, Maine on Lake St. George, one of my favorite places to be) will be just what I need. Mostly I want the people I love and care about to visit and to spend time with them over this Fall and Winter.
We are still currently working on a plan to bring my grand-daughter (Lanah) home and my hope is that by the holidays she is here full time. We are her family and we are her home. Sometimes I don’t feel as though I can talk about her too much because it causes me such heartache. I am so grateful that she is currently still with a family that is taking such good care of her. She’ll be 5 months old this month. When I don’t see her for a couple days and then I walk into the room where she is, the first
thing she does is give me the biggest, gummiest, giggle smile. I know I love her but in those moments when she reaches for my face and smiles or talks to me in her little girl voice I am so filled with love for her my heart feels like it’s swelling out of my chest. She is beautiful.
I also have a second role. I am Shey’s mother. She is trying to learn how to be a mother and what’s that like but she has such a difficult time learning. I also want her to know I am there for her always. I get frustrated with her and sometimes I wish she would learn things faster. But I always want her to know she has a place with me. That I am home; for her and Lanah.